Enjoying Relationships
Are you wanting to have a new relationship, find a partner or improve a relationship that is important to you? There are so many complex factors that influence your relationships and it is an interesting and satisfying journey discovering the well springs of you own likes and dislikes.
One of the most interesting aspects of your relationship history will be the way in which each relationship will offer you gifts of personal understanding, development and growth. Each relationship will teach you something new about how to appreciate and value yourself more fully. Each relationship will offer you new insights into who you are at the deepest level.
There is in fact no such thing as a relationship failure. There are just some relationships which teach us in one way and others which teach us in a different way. Relationship, in every form is a straight and true road into the deepest understanding of who you are and the deepest understanding of the power of love.
Case Studies:
Evelyn came to see Sandy because she felt all the ‘oomph’ had gone out of her long term relationship. She felt bored in the relationship and no longer felt attracted to her partner. She acknowledged that he had always been faithful to her, that they had once had a number of interests in common and he was a willing provider. She felt guilty about how she felt but didn’t want to stay in the relationship because she was only going through the motions and that was unfair to both of them.
When Sandy tuned into her aura she could easily see the many fears Evelyn held at a deep level about revealing herself fully to her partner. In discussion with Sandy she revealed how she had always been very careful about sharing her feelings with her partner for fear that he would find her responses unacceptable and she would be rejected. Without taking any stance on whether this was the right relationship for her Sandy encouraged Evelyn to work directly with her fears. She did some Hypnosis with Evelyn doing some regression work which showed she had been punished as a child in a way which made her fearful of speaking up.
During this work Sandy did some work with the scared child who still lived on inside Evelyn and brought some peace and healing to those past experiences which were still influencing Evelyn’s relationships in the present, not just those with her partner but also all her other significant relationships. As this work went on Evelyn realised that in order to resolve how she felt, she was going to have to tell her partner about her doubts about continuing the relationship.
Initially Evelyn found it difficult to tell her partner things about how she felt because it was still difficult for her to believe such sharing could serve a constructive purpose. However she was surprised that even though he was distressed he wanted to tackle all the areas of discontent she was experiencing. He also shared with her some of the doubts he was having. As this deeper level of sharing occurred the sense of closeness and connection that had previously been a part of the relationship was re-established.
Annie came to see Sandy because she very much wanted to partner. She was an older lady and had had a distinguished professional career. But she had never experienced a strong loving bond with a man. She had often tried to be more social and put herself in situations where she could meet eligible men, However when she met them she always felt stiff and unresponsive unable to exercise the natural charm and friendliness that was part of her work and friendship relationships. She was almost reconciled to continuing to live alone but wanted to explore with Sandy whether there were any deeper issues which were influencing her behaviour.
Sandy asked her to discover within herself the part of her that always felt stiff and unresponsive when with attractive men and to bring it into her conscious awareness. Tuning into what was happening for Annie at a deep level of this reaction Sandy discovered a denial of emotional closeness with men which flowed from watching her parents’ very unhappy relationship unravel in front of her when she was young. After many discussions of the pain of this experience Sandy, with Annie’s agreement did a clearing of beliefs around all men being untrustworthy and selfish. She also brought new beliefs to the fore around Annie’s adult ability to exercise excellent judgment about men she met and to appreciate their positive qualities.
Annie started to enjoy her social activities much more than she had in the past and started to allow her positive appreciation of some of her men she met to shine through. She started to go on dates and really enjoyed feeling relaxed and interested instead of nervous and stand offish.